Help for struggling comedians.

Revolutionary new program offers hope!

Have you written absolutely brilliant comedic material only to find yourself buried under a new stack of lawsuits after each rewritten performance?

Time after time.

Have you spent years and a small fortune on comedy schools and coaches and psychiatrists trying to "get it right"?  Not to mention all those nightclub pie detectors and security guards.  Only to find those pies flying in your face each time.

Does your audience show up with pitchforks, flaming torches and nooses each night?

Do you find yourself trying to screw up the courage to make that jump off the Golden Gate Bridge after each escape?


Friend, has it ever occurred to you that maybe it's not you, but your audience that's screwed-up?

Let our crack team of Fired Army Drill Sergeants whip those whiny spoiled audiences into shape for you with our new "Get a Life" audience Basic Training Program.

But this is just a first glimpse at the beginning of whole new life of success, fame and fortune long denied to you for which you have been yearning for all your life.

Our new, exciting and exclusive patented
Comedy Audience Rehabilitation Program utilises a new and revolutionary audience behavior modification program pioneered, developed and finally perfected by Philip Zimbardo after struggling for decades on the problem at the Stanford Comedy Laboratories.

Canned laugh tracks and a hidden remote control button in your pocket in combination with special operant conditioning electrodes in the audience chairs provide instant laughter for you as the "
LAUGH!" sign flashes.  Secret undercover agents, "goon show" rejects, laugh "heavies" and shills peppered in the audience provide additional motivation.  Guaranteeing you those laughs you have longed for year after year.

Do not trouble yourself about the cost.  You have enough problems as it is.  Sign away all your worries with us today.  That second mortgage on your house will soon be returned to you beyond your wildest dreams as those laughs start rolling in.

Geoffrey ("beyond your wildest dreams")
President, Die Laughing Inc.
(subdivision of Last Laugh Conglomerates,
formerly "That's Not Funny!" Enterprises)


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